Just a tiny corner of the internet where I can update my readers strictly on book releases or other book related information :) If you're interested in my everyday life, visit me at http://heather.bishoffs.com

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Saffron: Vengeance Goddess Novelettes, Book One


Marion Churchman, code name SAFFRON, is an assassin employed by the vengeance goddess Nemesis. She may have been trained by an elite academy and rubbed elbows with immortals for five years, but it’s not her dream job.

Sent on a particularly tough run, Saffron has no idea that she herself is being stalked, and her life is in danger.

She’s not as invincible as Nemesis makes her feel.

**Saffron is a fifteen-thousand word novelette, the first in a serial series. It DOES have a cliffhanger.**
Read an excerpt below!


When I got the summons, I was in the middle of some Olympic gymnastics-worthy sex. The kind where my legs were at angles I’d never thought humanly possible, and I was looking at parts of his body that probably should never have seen the light of day, much less my eyeballs. At one point, I was certain I’d gotten turned upside down, and then we were backwards, and that was… odd.

But that was what happened when you had anonymous sex, right? When you had one too many amaretto sours at a bar in a strange city because you’d just killed a serial killer, and you went to a motel with some guy named Mark just because you thought the way he wore his glasses was cute. You weren’t always sure what you were getting into before you, well, got onto him.

The sex got sweaty, and Mark started making some weird grunting sound similar to a pig eating, but I was determined. Pushing on towards that goal of certain orgasm, my eyes screwed shut as I rode him like a rodeo cowgirl.

Fulfilling my missions made orgasm a necessity. You can’t just run around killing bad guys without some kind of release afterwards. So yeah, I sometimes felt like a slut, but in a career where death dripped from my fingertips, a bit of life made it better.

I felt the sweet sensation of climax rise within me; a little niggle in my lower abdomen that snaked its way through my lady parts until I was panting. One minute, I was on the verge of paradise…

… and the next, I was whooshing into the Other Realm.

What the hell?

Whenever it came, the summons was like a flat screen TV to the head. BAM! Saff, you’ve got work to do. Nemesis made demands like a prison warden or an overbearing mother. Suddenly, my extremely enthusiastic sparring partner was a blip on the radar, and my spirit was tumbling with flailing arms and legs through purple time and space.

Even after five years of working for Nemesis, the summons took my breath away. I landed on my knees, hard, catching myself with both hands and flattening tall grass against soft ground. I swayed, trying to blink the woozy from my eyes. My fingers were translucent; I could make out grains of sand through my fingernails. With my akasha—my spirit—here, my body would be unresponsive beneath Mark.

Poor guy. He was going to freak.

Nemesis’s voice cut through my post-world-jumping stupor. “Stand, girl. We haven’t got all day.”

“I was a little busy,” I retorted, pushing myself to my feet. I wobbled a bit on the incline, and then stooped to brush dirt from my knees. My bare knees. Naked in form, naked in akasha. Lovely.

The Other Realm always freaked me out. Even though I was in spirit form, in the Other Realm, I was solid. Real. If I traveled to another dimension in this particular form, I’d be non-corporeal. Here? Just another day at the office.

We were on a steep, round hill overlooking the rough waves of an ocean stretching into the gunpowder-gray horizon. The emerald grass was tall enough to brush my thighs in the warm breeze. The sky above was royal purple: dusk, dotted with the first pinpricks of stars. I could hear the lonely cawing of crows.

“Looks like rain,” I remarked, motioning to the clouds.

Nemesis was beautiful, as always. Her long, dark hair draped elegantly, tendrils curling beside Her heart-shaped face. The robe that clung to Her thin, curvaceous body was so white it glowed in the evening, drifting into obscurity below the grass line.

“It always rains in this world,” She said.

I sighed. “And what world is this, pray tell?”

“You wouldn’t care to know.” She raised a lovely eyebrow, black eyes shining with humor. “Saffron, you’re naked.” Her bow-shaped lips, the color of blood, pursed in amusement. “Bad time, love?”

I grunted, wrapping my arms around my breasts modestly. It was just a bit of nudity between women, but Nemesis already knew everything about me. Couldn’t I at least preserve my modesty?

I figured if I tried to hide my below-belly-button naughty bits by crossing my legs, She’d laugh, so I didn’t bother.

“Darling, you look wonderful. Have you been working out?” Nemesis walked forward, Her gait smooth and perfect, until She was in my personal space. She poked my abdomen and squeezed my bicep like I was a science experiment. When She began scrunching my long black hair in Her palms, I stepped away.

Glaring, I echoed Her own words, “ ‘We haven’t got all day.’ ”

“Ah, dear Saffron.” Nemesis tutted. “You never forget a word I say. I should be honored.”

“I’m naked, and it’s about to rain. Can we move along, please?”

Her tinkling laugh drifted on the wind. As She stepped away, the jeweled scabbard that held Her sword, Hubris, smacked against a shapely thigh. She regarded me with the same ambivalence of a satiated hawk eying a fat rat—I could eat you, but I won’t. “So sorry, love. Sometimes I forget what it’s like for humans. Modesty and the like.”

“Oh, really? I had no idea.”

“I’ve had word from Demeter,” Nemesis went on.

I froze, my arms slowly falling to my sides. I wasn’t going to like what followed. Demeter was the Mother Goddess, protector of children. Whatever was happening, it was going to be one of those hard cases that ended with Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and a good cry.

“Travel to Savannah, Georgia,” Nemesis ordered, making Her words a full Decree. Her voice took on the echo that accompanied my formal assignment; the echo that forever wed me to Her. I felt it reverberate deep in my bones, binding me to Her will. Goosebumps spread across my pale skin. “Seek Amy and Andy McClore. The children must be avenged.”

My body went hot, my heart ratcheting until it felt like it would burst from my chest. The purple ether of passage back to the real world whipped around me, disorienting, and I crash-landed, bouncing on the creaky motel bed in the manner of someone waking from a dream of falling. I lay there for a moment, willing the empty feeling in my stomach away, my fingers digging into the coarse sheets beneath me for stability.

Mark, the handsome, bespectacled man I’d been carnally enjoying before Nem’s rude interruption, cowered in the far corner of the room. His arms were wrapped around his knees, his breathing shallow and rapid in between his hysterical recitation of The Lord’s Prayer. “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom—”

I sat up, a hand fluttering to my spinning head. “Mark?”

He rocked slowly back and forth, not looking at me. “Your eyes. God, your eyes, they went white, and you went limp and cold, and I thought you were dead.”

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at how silly he looked. But who was I to judge? I wasn’t the one left after the summons, trying to figure out why my bed mate was suddenly unresponsive.

“Women have died from orgasm before,” Mark mumbled. “I did a study on it in grad school.”

Could you imagine? Humping along, all fine and dandy, enjoying a bit of a shag, and then, sorry, dead. Sure, you get a small bit of satisfaction, but, still. Dead.

“Odd choice of study,” I quipped, shakily putting my legs over the edge of the bed as I let my pounding head rest in my hands. “I’m fine. Really. You should get off the floor. It’s probably covered in e. coli. This isn’t the nicest of motels.”

Receiving an assignment from Nemesis was comparable to the morning after a Saturday-night bender. The magick involved in the spoken Decree could split my head open. Metaphorically. On top of the alcohol from three hours at the bar, it felt literal.

It was much too cold in the room, the ancient air conditioner kicked up on ‘high’ due to our sweaty acrobatics. I rummaged around the stiff, industrial blankets and came up with my t-shirt and underwear. “Where are my jeans?”

Mark crawled across the dirty shag carpet on his freaking knees and pulled my Refuge denims from under the bed. A shaky hand held them by two fingers.

“They won’t bite,” I snapped at him, jerking the offending clothing from his grasp. Turning my back, I slipped into my Coca-Cola tee and black string bikinis before pulling my jeans up over my hips.

“What happened?” Mark asked, his question barely audible as he fumbled to get dressed.

“Spontaneous narcolepsy?” I offered to lighten the mood.

He didn’t laugh. Fine then.

“Nothing.” I gave him a quick peck on his cold cheek. “It was fun. Nice to meet you.” Plucking my purse from the bureau by the door, I made my escape.


Available now! Only 99c.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

New Novel - Constant State of Disaster

Anne Marie has issues and they all stem from her mother.

On top of losing the genetic lottery, she’s also dealing with an unexpected breakup from the man she thought she would marry.  When the depression sends her spiraling into a self-destructive party phase that rivals the old adage Sex-Drugs-Rock’n’Roll, her parents decide to get her out before she destroys herself.

AnnRee’s best friend lives and works abroad where she’s just become engaged; Anne Marie is on the next flight out of New York and thankful to be rid of the negativity.  A whirlwind bachelorette trip in Ireland introduces her to a gorgeous man who is too good for her, and puts another one of her friends in the hospital, leaving her just as bereft as before.

AnnRee realizes that in order to be happy, she has to create her own way, and it’s not going to be easy. 

Sometimes, you have to accept life as it is to get where you want to be.

Constant State of Disaster Online!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Banned Books Giveaway Hop!

I just recently did a giveaway hop from this blog, but when I saw that this week's hop would be promoting banned books, I thought, "hmm.  How cool!"

Then I really started researching banned books.  And I really started getting p*d off.  I had NO idea that so many books that shaped my childhood and teen years had been banned, whether here in the States or around the world.

A List of Once-or-Now -Banned-OR-Challenged Somewhere Books I love:

I'm sure there are more.  Our world is rife with censorship and hate.  I can only hope that one day we will move into a golden future where we are all equal, all forward-thinking, and all appreciative of art in any of its varied forms.

My books often have themes and situations which would certainly have put me on banned lists in the past.  Paganism, goddesses, witches, sex, and murder.  I am happy to live in a country where we don't have "banned" books, though there are sects of people consistently challenging those books we adore.

In honor of Banned Books Week I'm going to give away a copy of one of my favorite all-time books (that I didn't put in the list above because it is cut from a different cloth).  If you HAVE read this book, please consider entering anyway.  You can always gift it to a friend.

It was a dark and stormy night; Meg Murry, her small brother Charles Wallace, and her mother had come down to the kitchen for a midnight snack when they were upset by the arrival of a most disturbing stranger.

"Wild nights are my glory," the unearthly stranger told them. "I just got caught in a downdraft and blown off course. Let me sit down for a moment, and then I'll be on my way. Speaking of ways, by the way, there is such a thing as a tesseract."

A tesseract (in case the reader doesn't know) is a wrinkle in time. To tell more would rob the reader of the enjoyment of Miss L'Engle's unusual book. A Wrinkle in Time, winner of the Newbery Medal in 1963, is the story of the adventures in space and time of Meg, Charles Wallace, and Calvin O'Keefe (athlete, student, and one of the most popular boys in high school). They are in search of Meg's father, a scientist who disappeared while engaged in secret work for the government on the tesseract problem.

The hop is closed :)

Sunday, September 11, 2011

The Halloween Collection


Rhyn Trilogy: Origins, by Lizzy Ford: Gabriel's fate as an assassin seems set until he meets a courageous half-demon child named Rhyn, whose plight rekindles the humanity he thought he'd lost.

Ralphie the Special Werewolf by P.J. Jones: Ralphie doesn’t want to get snipped, but his pack is tired of watching him defile the sofa cushions. Now, he’s got to find a mate by Halloween night—or else.

Sunwalker's Kiss by Shéa MacLeod:  While searching for a magical bloodline, Sunwalker Jackson Keel discovers magic of a different kind.

The Village of Those Who Touch The Dead by M. Edward McNally: "All obligations will be paid. There are no exceptions."’

Haunting in OR 13, by Alan Nayes:  Halloween never frightened Sara McCaffe, until she stepped into Operating Room 13!

To Taste of Shimmering Revenge by Jack Wallen: A vampire is awakened after four hundred years only to find his kind embarrassed and shamed by the rash of shimmery, hunky vampires on the big screen. His revenge will be sweet and tasty.

Magickal Vendetta by Heather Adkins - Revenge is a dish best served up in a pink saucepan for accident-prone blood witch, Gretchen.  By harnessing the power of Halloween, she hopes to break the bond with the soulmate who did her wrong.

From the Keegan’s Chronicles series:  Haunted House by Julia Crane -  Keegan, Lauren, and Anna find much more than they bargained for during an innocent trip to a commercial haunted house.  Someone long dead awaits them on the second floor...

From the Gifted Teens series: Mind-Blower by Talia Jager - Kassia and Daxton’s romantic picnic is interrupted by the arrival of creatures bent on her destruction.  Will her powers fail her when she needs them most?

The Indie Eclective: What is it, who are they, and why can they spell neither “eclectic” nor “collective” correctly? The Indie Eclective is an ensemble of authors operating under the assumption that Readers like Good Books. The Halloween Collection showcases spooky reads from nine very different authors. Whether you enjoy light or dark paranormal, YA or adult-themed genres, there’s bound to be a story to suit your tastes. Thanks for reading!

Available at Smashwords and Amazon, coming soon to B&N!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Pink Snowbunnies in Hell - A Flash Fiction Anthology!

A sleep-deprived author mixes up her metaphors.

A graphic designer has too much time on his hands.

Twenty writers, fueled by copious amounts of chocolate, dream up quirky, funny, and occasionally creepy stories.

And the Pink Snowbunnies Ski in Hell Flash-Fiction Anthology was born.

These are very short stories, under a thousand words each. Some have actual bunnies. Some take rather offbeat trips through the underworld. And some just have a character that shares the sleep-deprived author’s mixed metaphors.

All proceeds from this anthology are going to local animal shelters. Pink snowbunnies can take care of themselves, but thank you for helping us support those animals who do need a little assistance.

Stories included in the anthology:
Domestic Disturbance, by T.L. Haddix
Wedding Heaven, Ltd, by A.J. Braithwaite
When, by Robin Reed
Where’s JoJo? A Bunny’s Guide to Family Dysfunction, by Julie Christensen
Wingman, by Nathan Lowell
It Finally Happens…, by Heather Marie Adkins
Careful What You Wish For, by Barbra Annino
Of Demons and Bunnies, by Nichole Chase
Pink Snowbunnies are the New Pink Ribbon, by Jimi Ripley
One Wrong Turn Deserves Another, by Asher MacDonald
Marissa’s Tattoo, by Steve Silkin
Eulogy, by Suzanne Tyrpak
The Taste of Pink Snow, by Susan Helene Gottfried
Revenge of the Peeps, by Camille LaGuire
Love in a Time of Bunnies, by Coral Moore
The Bunni and the Bird, by Penny Cunningham
The Recession is Hell, by Randi Rogue
Pink Snowbunnies Acrostic, by Molly Black
Don’t Mess with the Meadow, by Rex Jameson
A Gift for a Very Special Girl, by Debora Geary

Available now at these platforms!


Thursday, September 1, 2011

Back to the Books Giveaway Hop!

Welcome to this blog's first giveaway hop!

Vale Avari has a mysterious past and a laundry list of super-powers, but that's nothing compared to what she finds upon moving from small town U.S.A to jolly-good England.

A chance dart throw lands her in Quicksilver, an off-the-map place with a big problem - people are dying, and word is, it's supernatural.

At her new place of employment, a temple dedicated to the ancient Mother Goddess, Vale learns something even more shocking - women guards are disappearing at an alarmingly patterned rate; women who possess special gifts like her own.

Supernatural powers aside, Vale isn't ready to believe in the Wild Hunt as the culprit, and she's determined to prove the deaths are acts of human violence.

Plagued by a brute with a history of domestic violence and lusting after a dark-eyed man with a secret, Vale has a limited amount of time to discover the killer before he strikes again. In the process, she'll learn things aren't always what they seem and the supernatural might not be so extraordinary after all.

The Hunt could ride for her.

Enter for a chance to win an ebook copy of "The Temple"! Just fill out the form below. Mandatory first entry is to follow this blog while a second optional entry is to friend me on Goodreads :)

This hop is now closed :)

Saturday, August 6, 2011

New Novel--Abigail


When Abigail’s supposedly immortal faery mother is found murdered, her human father sells her in to slavery. Bought by a young and wealthy landowner named William, she is whisked away to a Grecian island to play caretaker for his baby sister.

However, the island has a deadly secret connected to Abigail’s past. Her budding romance with William is shattered by Abigail’s intimate, unwanted connection with the island’s faery prince.  Meanwhile the faery king plans revenge upon the family. Abigail must join forces with the very race she’s sought to deny, to save the humans she has learned to love.

Available at Amazon, Smashwords, and Barnes and Noble